Learning languages...

Hey, readers. First and formost, I'll apologise for not posting yesterday. See, I was actually in the middle of posting (Although to be fair it was after midnight, so still today really) when my dad went "Oh mint, let's unplug this internet cable!" and did exactly that. Hence, no postage from me. It probably works in your favour, however, yesterday's post was sheer drivel, nothing interesting whatsoever.

So. To today's post.

I've decided I'm going to learn Italian. I already know enough spanish to get by, and am taking that at college (or high school for you Americans... Always one step behind. Tch. Kidding :-D), as well as Arabic, which should be fun for giggles, and now have decided to give Italian a go. It's apparently really similar to Spanish, and Italy is a great place, so any sensible person would learn the language. It'll perhaps help with my neverending quest to learn all the languages. Apparently there are 6500 spoken languages in the world, not including the fake ones like Klingon (that's the language off that sucky programme Star Trek). Oh, also you can apparently get a degree in Klingon.

I bet that's got some people pretty darn far with their lives.

Well, I didn't do much today. Had to write that spanish coursework, which I did well, reckon there'll be some A* work going on there. Well, I did get a spanish person to help me with it, lots, so it's only to be supposed.

Something odd happened today. I found some Dido music on my computer, when no one in my family have any CD's by her, so that was puzzling. I hadn't downloaded any either. Aah well. Perhaps it's a free gift from Microsoft, maybe to make up for Vista.

I decided I like Dido.

Lacking content, apologies all.

Yawns all round. Boring day all in all today, finally crawled out of my hole in the ground... I mean bed, at around 1. pm, due to incredible thirst. Did very little after that, other than save Hyrule from the dreaded Ganondorf on the Gamecube. Did a bit of coursework de Espanol, and emailed my spanish tutor to get her to help me with it. Very helpful. She's a very nice person too.

I promised you a picture of the feathered pigeon babies today, it seems I was too lazy to get my camera and take a picture, so you'll be waiting another day I'm afraid.

Also watched "The apprentice." What a NICE SHOW. That cool bearded man making business peoples sell fish at stalls at markets and firing them. Cool guy.

Well this has been a boring post. Sorry. I actually truly am. I'm sure you're all feeling terrible that you don't get to see just how fantastic my life usually is. I'll try to find something interesting to talk about tomorrow.

OCR...

Hey, readers. It's been an average day today, as per usual; very poor teaching where science is concerned, mediocre lies made up where RE is concerned (Along with my RE teacher refusing to play a game of mercy with me, the coward) and lots of fun where drama is concerned. Just about the funnest thing that happened was a funzo surprise mock exam in english, where I got to experience the joys of writing about the town of Maycomb in To Kill A Mockingbird. For those of you that haven't read the book, I've compiled a collection of quotes just for you, that may as well have been the title.

"In a pig's ear you did, Dill. Hush."
"Scout yonder's been reading since she was born."
"Looka yonder."
"You go gargle - right now! You hear me?"
"Coloured folk don't show their ages as fast."
"That's m'name, cap'n."
"He's drinkin' out of a sack."

And last, but certainly not least...

"But Jem, I ain't never heard of a nigger snowman."

All super-fun quotes that you too can experience if you let your eyes revel in Mockingbird.

You can also watch the film to see Scout wriggling around on the floor dressed as a large ham, if you so choose.

Good gosh I hate that book.

For all my foreign/differently educated readers, mock exams are usually something you're aforewarned about. By a lot of time. Like, months. We found out five minutes before. It's like, a real exam, for our real qualifications. Except, not.

Oh. We also found out that the future of our school depends on our GCSE (Sshool-leaving qualifications) today, because if they aren't good, then the school's gonna be demolished and mixed with another school at some later point.

I bet the teachers are REAAAAAAAAALLY regretting doing such a shoddy job of teaching now.

Oh, but it's not ALL the teacher's fault.

IT'S OCR'S AS WELL.

Again, for readers that don't know, OCR is, it's a course that we do for science and ICT (but we could also do for english and other subjects), where this particular company sets the coursework to be done, along with the exams. They've gone and set us like twenty bits of coursework for science alone that the school have failed to tell us, until now, that they exist. The tests are abominable, more logic than science (which is a plus) but the coursework is like... Leprosy on paper. We had to like, spend hours copying and pasting stuff onto about thirty pages, then write it in our own words. For one bit, we had two hours of teaching time to had in a full bit, that a decent teacher might spend weeks on. We didn't even know half out stuff was meant to be coursework. Aah well, you don't want to hear about this stuff.

The baby pigeons now have proper feathers *thumbs up* photos tomorrow.

Relief?

Today wasn't as COMPLETELY terrifying as I expected. Well, I went into the classroom with a wall of friends around me, to hopefully not let the teacher see me, and then moved places, from right next to her desk to the other side of the room. So far so good.

Then came the register. The dreaded, dreaded register. So, she read down to my name, waiting for the "Yes"'s, and, for some strange reason, reached my name, and said "Jopkins? Oh yes, he's here..." rather quietly.

Of course not that I'm complaining.

It seems that, that lesson, she decided to completely ignore me, as did I. BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME! Sheer relief, like. I was expecting, like, a lynch mob or something, but got nothing of the sort.

But yeah, nothing new apart from that. Oh, that lesson we were on computers doing science coursework, and me and a friend, we'll call him "Billy" for conversation's sake, found the most amazingly incredible game ever called Massive Attack, it was very much like drugs. But that's about it.

Toodles.

And by the way, despite the fact that I say "Toodles", I am in fact heterosexual.

Bye.

Sheer terror...

Well, I was back to school today, after a week break over easter. Usual school rubbish; coursework being thrown at us from all angles, lukewarm teaching and standing around in the cold eating sandwiches. MUCH FUN.

Had to have a meeting with my spanish teacher today, because I called her something naughty a few weeks ago and got excluded for a week because of it. Tut tut to me, and like. But yeah, I had to explain stuff, and make sure I did everything short of apologizing. I'm arrogant, see. I don't like apologizing.

POINT IS! At the moment, I'm currently terrified out of my mind about tomorrow. Perhaps I should explain.

Well. Months ago, my science teacher, Miss Wells, thought it'd be jolly ol' fun to steal my pen drive. I was not a happy bunny. Well, I found her email address (Laura.Wells@salford.gov.uk, in case you were wondering... and PLEASE, BY ALL MEANS, have some fun with it. Really, I implore you.) and thought to myself "Oh hello, here's an opportunity for mischief," and mischief it was.

Before I tell you the rest, I feel it important to explain to you that I am not in fact insane; I just like to appear that way occasionally.

Very well.

First of all, I emailed her anonymously, saying "You've made a mistake. You'd better undo it. A lot of people are angry." (Like I said, NOT actually insane. Just wanted her to think she was being stalked or something.) Then, she replied saying "Who is this?" and I emailed her again saying "I know who you are." She then didn't reply again, so I sent her one more saying "Very mature of you, ignoring me. Unfortunately, the problem's still here."

A lot of time then passed, and I'd all but forgotten it, until one of my friends saw her in the Trafford Centre (a nearby shopping centre) with another teacher, Sian Heafield. I thought it was too precious to miss, so, as I am me, I thought it'd be a good idea emailing her again saying "So, how was the Trafford Centre with Sian?" you know, purely for "stalker" effect.

Well. Before I go on, I feel it is important I tell you I have something of a reputation with the teachers at my school. See, I am what they call a "complete bastard," or something along those lines. Well, I'm actually very controversial. People, teachers and students alike, like me a lot or despise my guts. Miss Wells, along with Miss Heafield and, unfortunately, most of the senior staff at my school, are on the "despise" side. Lucky me.

THE POINT IS! Well, one lesson a week or so ago, Miss Wells mentioned this email incident in her class. I wasn't in for this lesson, but as soon as she said it, one of my friends, who knew about it, said something along the lines of "Oh, (bad word), that's not good." A little too audibly for my liking, too. Ahh well.

So. Miss Wells came over to this girl and said if she knew anything, she'd better say it or it was agains the law and other legal... rubbish she made up in the spot. The teacher then told some other senior staff that this particular friend (we'll call her "Katie", just for arguments sake), that she'd said I did it, even though she didn't. See, Miss Wells had already decided (correctly, as it happens), that it was me. So, fun and yet MORE fun for me, I got found out.

I then did not help myself out one little bit by skipping a meeting I was supposed to go to with her.

And I'm supposed to have a lesson with her tomorrow.

And good gosh I am terrified. What with, you know, being threatened with permenant exclusion. Ahh dear.

Despite what the above SOUNDS like, I'm actually not that bad a person. I just like to peeve people, a tad.

Now, I may go and hide under a pile of coats for a bit...

More yawns...

I've had a day about as equally interesting and exciting as yesterday, friends.

Oh, it's been slightly more interesting. bought a couple of pairs of jeans, seeing as two out of three pairs I own are far too small, and the other pair are too big. And I've had them on for like, two weeks.

Oh, exaggeration.

Saw a woman talking to herself on the bus on the way back. Life must be interesting, if you defaultly talk to youself. Constant company, I reckon. You'd never get lonely.

Do you actually talk to your own mind, and answer for yourself? Or is there like, another voice in there that answers back? Hrm. Get back to me if you know, please.

So that was that. Oh, also did a bit of planning for some youth work I help out with. lucky me, come next Sunday I get to entertain and amuse 5-9 year olds at my church with puppets. A puppet called Timmy, to be precise. A ventriloquist's dummy.

Oh, isn't my life fun?

Also, I horrified a couple of youth workers with the state of the baby pigeons. They like, have spikes erupting from them. they'll become feathers one day (I hope), but they look like they've got white needles poking out of them everywhere. I'll add a pic tomorrow.

So now, here I am, sat here, bored as ever, with no new episodes of Lost to watch, and my brother's one the Gamecube.

Oh... No he's not... Goodbye, then...

Yawns...

For the last four days, I've always had something to say, whether it be about preservatives, easter or pigeons.

That is not the case with today.

I have done nothing all day. Like, out of bed at half one this afternoon. Wandered around the house a bit, looking confused, then lunch. Melted cheese butty, in case you were wondering.

...You weren't, were you?

Well, it matters not. It was just about the highlight of my day.

For the rest of the day, I unscrambled my brain on the Gamecube (Tales of Symphonia and Zelda, Ocarina of time... Something else you weren't wondering about...)

So yeah. And here I am now, waiting for Lost to download itself (legally, mind) onto my computer. It likes to take its time.

Oh, this is hopeless. I've got to think of something I've got an opinion on...

COMMUNISM!

Right, my theory is this. I know like communism is meant to be bad and all (yaa, boo, hiss... etc) but only because all the leaders are corrupt. If I was boss of the world, I'd work the country so that business owners kept all the money they made (only so that they didn't just think "Aah, sack it, I'm only making the same as that dude over there") but make them pay more taxes. Then, all the workers, and non-business owners money would go into a big pot, the taxes taken out, which wouldn't have to be as high, as business owners would pay more, and then there'd be no poor people. Businesses still make lots of money, regular people's taxes are generally lower, but business' taxes are higher, so more money can be spent on helping people with hospitals, etc, everybody wins. AND, because people might think "Now why would I bother a hard-working guy when I can earn just as much shovelling potato wedges (that is, artfuly crafting food)?", the businesses can offer perks (company car, free dental, etc) to make people want to get better jobs.

Yeah.

What can I say, I had a boring day...

Easter day.

So, it's the time of year again that we gorge ourselves on chocolate and sugar, pigging out as best we can, forgetting what easter's really about.

Wait, what is it about?

Oh yeah, the bloke in white that was whipped until his spine was visible out his back and then was nailed to a tree and left to bleed to death.

I propose a minute of silence for that dude. Homie love out there, Jesus.

Right. We're done with that.

I took a look at some of the ingredients for a tube of mini eggs. Ever done that? The list takes up half the packaging. Crammed full of colouring, flavouring, scentening and preservatives. Oh, and a bit of actually edible stuff too, I believe.

Speaking of preservatives, I have a theory regarding them. People cram food full of them, to preserve it and make a loaf of bread last for three years, and then some. Well, I say, if it can do that to a loaf of bread, then surely we should stuff ourselves full of them, and preserve ourselves. It must preserve us, if it does it to food. For example, I know a twenty-three year old woman that eats so much chewing gum, none of this "Wrigleys no preservatives" junk, the proper stuff, all chemicals and preservatives, and you'd never guess she was over twelve.

See? Preservatives at work.

So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna eat so much preservatives that by the time I die, in three hundred years time nonetheless, I'l be practically laminated.

That'll give Time Team 4000 AD something interesting to dig up.

Sleepage...

Well. I'm back again, my third consecutive day on the blog.

You know what's a STRANGE thing? Easter. It's supposed to be however many years after Jesus died. But it's on a Sunday. Constantly. So it can't be.

Also, eggs. I've heard it's to symbolise new life at Spring, but that's nothing to do with the easter story. New life at the ressurection? Oh wait no, we eat the eggs, so there's no new chicken life there. Unlucky for them. I've also been told that they're the stone at Jesus's tomb that was rolled away. Strange. I thought that the Romans were smarter than to use eggs to barricade a cave. 'Specially chocolate ones.

ANYWAY!

I had a fun day today. Feathers McGraw and Zazu took their first steps, bless, don't they grow up so fast, etc, etc. That reminds me. here's a good pic.

Mother and daughter. Bless. And yeah, that hulking beast there is the tiny mini-egg sized thing you saw on my hand three days ago.

So, second and final day of performing "The Rock" today. Pretty darned good. Lots of applause, fanfare, chocolate, backpatting and aftershow parties all round. Rather tired now, but it was all good and fun. AND I discovered that there IS a limit to the amount of J2O's you can drink without wanting to die. But hey, apple and blackcurrent. What can I say.

Well, I think I'm gonna say toodles now. It's twenty-five to midnight. So ta-ta. Have fun.

Sugar rush

Yawn. Tired.

Been out today from 10 AM, till now, practicing and performing a play called "The Rock". It's not about gravel. It's a modernised confusing story my church made. I got through the day with a series of sugar rushes on Pepsi, Mars bars, Yorkies, lollies, crisps, chips, sandwiches, various chocolate bars and... Yeah. It's been a nutritional day for me today.

Sugar low now :-(

I did well anyway. At the last count I had four lines or so, give or take, which I delivered medicorely. What bad spelling. But yeah, it was a full house, about 220 people turned up, lots of applause (recorded, I presume, or merely out of politeness) and the band there (there was a band) played well.

So yeah, other than that, I had the very important duty of closing a door after someone ran through it, opening another door so a guy could carry a box through it, and lowering the general sound of the chorus with my musically dead voice. I settled for screaming at the audience.

So that was my day.

Feathers McGraw started growing feathers, by the way. Living right up to his name there.

I also called the other pigeon Zazu. Although I reckon it's a female. And not a parrot, or whatever the hell Zazu is. Hrm. What's the name of the chicken that knits a lot in "Chicken Run"?

Wait, I'm jabbering.
Oh. That's what a blog's for.

Hang on. i'm too tired for this...

See ya.

Wow! I'm blogging!

So. I made a blog. If you're here, I'm sure it's just because you're someone equally as uninteresting as me and I've told you to. That, or because I'm such an INCREDIBLY fascinating, incredible person that word of this blog has spread sharpishly, and you're rifling about through the archives to read all the fun stuff I have to say.

Well. Today I think I'm gonna just tell you about me.

Name: Jopkins

Age: Not old enough to drink OR drive yet, definitly not old enough to do both together.

Hobbies: Hrm. Tricky one. I like games, console or PC. Ones I'd advise are Crysis, for PC, or any of the Zelda series, for any nintendo console. I also like badminton, but I haven't played that in a while, because I had a private coach, but he got run over, so that was the end of that. Worry not, though; he's okay. He's just not playing badminton any more. I also enjoy all things pigeon related (I have four pet pigeons; two white ones a year or so old, two four day old babies, ugliest things you've ever seen.) Here's a couple of slightly blurry pictures of them.

Two pigeon babies at one day old, closest one is called Feathers McGraw, not decided on a name for the other yet.

Two adult pigeons a couple of months ago. The one on the left is called Dad, the other called Mum. Some good, creative names there.

Dad, posing for the camera.

Aah. Cute, right? Other interests of mine include writing (Currently writing a trilogy, look out for it when it becomes an intergalactic bestseller) and SOCIALIZING! I know commonly it's thought that people who write (or read, for that matter) blogs are the kind of people with nobody to socialise WITH, but somehow I''ve managed to stumble across a couple of mates.

Lives in: Manchester, in England. Good, fun place to live. Rainy. Constantly. Very little to do. Pointless place to live. Yep. All good fun.

Not sure what else to write about myself, but I'm busy waiting for them pictures to upload, so I'll find a few things to say.

I'm gonna try to write a post every day, but heck, my life's so darn busy, what with all the constant social visits and walks to the TV an et cetera. Oh. More stuff to write:

Likes: Lost, Scrubs, any depressing suicidal music, such as anything My Chemical Romance, or even The Fray and stuff.

I like more stuff than that, but I'm not sure what.

Oh. Food. I like that a bit too.

Well, I've been pestering you for a while now, so I'm gonna leave now. If you can (I'm not sure, all this newfangled technology confuses me) please leave a comment.

Toodles.