Well, look what the cat dragged in...

Oh wait that's me.

YES! I'M BACK and I'm blogging. It's been a while. I forgot to blog. A LOT.

Well, what recent news? HMM.

Exams. English literature today, and I NEVER HAVE TO READ "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" AGAIN! *Party*. FUN STUFF. The question was crap though, I had to write twelve pages on how the title was important (?) and I also had to write some stuff about poems, comparing love poems and homicidal poems, etc... ALL GOOD AND FUN... :-S

The only exams I have left are science, in which I plan to do nothing more than draw little doodles at the side of the page. The last one I did, I did the test, then drew the complete cast of "Lord of the Rings" as E. Coli bacteria, fighting the deadly penicillin and the evil streptomycin. I also hypothesised that the centre of the world was a Granny Smiths apple, and I was asked why a radiator didn't work properly, I wrote:

1) The radiator-dwelling pygmies use the hot water to heat their homes.
2) The Evil pygmy-feasting beetle gives off a source of coldness
3) It was made in china so it's bound to not work.

I still got a B.

Hehhe, my science teacher humiliated himself the other day...

"John, you do NOT work in this lesson! There is no way you'll pass the exam!"

"I already got a B."

The last exam we did, see, counts as the score for this one if we do worse in this one.

I'd be exctatic with a D anyway.

Also done a very easy Maths test and a fairly easy spanish test. More spanish tomorrow. Woo.

Pigeon news: They laid more eggs, but because I don't want more babies, I shook the eggs to stop them hatching - It gives the pigeons something to sit on but they won't hatch. Anyway, today, they abandoned them, so I took them out and put them in the bin. When I dropped them in, both cracked - One had nothing but yolk in it, as it should - And a dead baby pigeon fell out of the other.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I didn't kill it! The shaking obviously didn't work, so it kept growing, however unfortunately there is a high chance that they will die if they can't break out of the egg shell, because many abbies don't have the strength to. So it would have hatched but died anyway :-(

Anyway, that's all for today. See ya.

...WELL AT LEAST I REMEMBERED TO POST TODAY!

I just FORGET. I can't help it.

Well, not much has happened anyhow. Been to see "Iron man". Twice. It was good. Not dome much else. It's a bank holiday, so I've not been to school today. Other than that, nothing really. Toodles.

Fliiiiiiiiiiiip.

I AM sorry that I keep not posting, I afctually do feel pretty bad after it, although no-one but me reads this junk.

Well, yesterday I went to a thingy called Army cadets with a friend. It was pretty cool, although I didn't do much other than learn to march, and salute, etc. PRETTY GOOD THOUGH. Oh, and on the way home I saw a bin on fire so called the Fire Brigade, good ol' samaratian Jopkins. Full fire truck for a bit of smoke out a bin.

Today I went to see the film "Iron Man". Was pretty darn swell. PRETTY DARN SWELL INDEED.
Oh, I hear regular reader and superstar Casey isn't well. Well, GET WELL SOON, CASEY!

Well, I'm off for now, toodles.

Spider pidg....

Heeeeeeey dudes. I'm in a rut. That particular rut is one where I don't post on odd days. I need to get out of this rut.

Anyway. HERE'S A STORY.

A few days ago, Zazu disappeared and this morning I thought "Well, that's the last I'll be seeing of her, then." with mild dispair.

This afternoon, when I got home, I saw my three remaining white pigeons in the garden, and a strange-looking grey one next to them. I thought that was weird, because they normally batter the grey ones.

I went out to investigate, and noticed it didn't fly away. Odd.

It wasn't long before I realised the grey one was actually a white one covered in a layer of what I can only presume to be soot.

It seems young Zazu had fallen down a chimmney and been trapped in it for two days.

No idea, how she got out, as we all have gas fires here (apart from my family, we're SPECIAL). All the fireplaces are blocked up. I guess she must have climbed up the wall of the chimmney (she can climb walls, if she flaps her wings a bit for balance).

Spider pidg, spider pidg... Can he fly, no he can't, I'll tell ya why... Wait a min, that's one useless spider pidg.

LOL.

See ya.

Lazyness...

Heeeeeeeeeeeey people. Once again, I haven't posted for a while. It's probably because I am what you might refer to as "Lazy".

We had a pretty invigorating assembally today. It consisted of half an hour of our head of year telling us she was speechless and we were going to fail our exams and it's too late now to do anything about it. WAY FUN! the only one better than that, that I can recall, was when a deputy head told us we were all going to fail at our exams, at life, and then die young. PRETTY DARN GOOD.

So, nothing really worth mentioning today. Lessons driving me one step closer to clinical depression, perhaps, but nothing else. So, toodly-pips.

Mushy brains. Yay.

Hey. Turns out I didn't post yesterday. Sorry, and like. I had stuff to do.

LOL. As if.

Nah, I just couldn't be bothered, in truth :-)

Yesterday was okay, I suppose. My teachers were on strike. WONDERFUL. Gives us a day off. Don't see what they want though. More money for standing around for just the same amount of time as they were before. I suppose they think that the standing's becoming more tiring.

TOUGH LUCK.

Well, perhaps another thought train was "Three weeks till exams begin, year 11 aren't falling behind too far... A strike might be beneficial."

Those lovely humans.

Well, not much happened today. Well, I did find out a friend is life-threateningly ill. But she already was. But she's got worse. But that's not really for blogging about.

Reckon I'm gonna go now. See ya.

Aah, America...

Hey hey, children.

School today was fun as ever; one of my teachers decided to lose a piece of my coursework, for which the deadline was this morning, and apparently I'm not invited to the leavers dinner for my year either. WONDERFUL.

Aah well, I tend not to worry. The holiday.

Was awesomes. Jopkins saw alligators. And lots of them. And nearly walked into a couple. A scary experience for someone who's never seen one before. Heck, I'm such a tourist.

Well. The first week my family rented a villa, huge, about six bedrooms each with a double bed, a pool, a games room, massive TV's in all rooms, the works. WAS AWESOME. That week we went to all the Universal Studios theme parks, which are: Universal studios (sucks) Aqualanda (is okay but the queues are gigantic) Islands Of Adventure (Freakin' AWESOME), Seaworld (Pretty darn good too) and Busch Gardens (Easily the best). ALL IN ALL PRETTY GOOD. Heh. There are like, random stuff like flamingoes and peacocks wandering around the parks. Awesomes.

The second week, which included my birthday, which makes me precisely one day older than I was the day before that, my family rented a car and we drove down to the south, the everglades, staying in motels and the like. Saw so much wildlife I got bored of it eventually; LOADS of alligators, a few snakes, thousands of lizards, loads of different birds, including bald eagles, and an osprey in a tree eating a trout, a wild boar and the likes. Oh, and a bobcat/panther too. Didn't get a good look at it really, it was sprinting off down a path once having seen us. I sound like such a tourist, but hey, we don't get this stuff in England.

My birthday went off to a flying start, woke up on a cold motel floor (there weren't enough beds), but I got to eat pancakes, so all was good. Aquired me a Nintendo DS and 10 fruit trees planted in Africa, amongst other such stuff given to charities on my behalf. FUN AND GAMES.

I really feel like I'm missing out by not being American. They're all so nice and friendly. Especially when I was wearing the two foot tall (or thereabouts) cat in the hat hat. that started lots of fun conversations with people such as a waitress, a guy with a cowboy hat at an airport, and random passers by. Heheh, first thing I heard when I got on the Atlanta-London flight was a London guy going "Oh dad, why won't you help me look for it? You're gay!" and I was reminded just how dispicable England is. I was depressed for that whole ten hour flight + train journey home. Still am, I suppose. I miss the sun. And the people. Yeah... I wish I could take my friends there. Some of them are even awesome.

Well.

Pictures tomorrow, I suppose. If I can find my camera. Ta-ta, for now.

GrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what's DISTINCTLY NOT FUN? THE SCHOOL! Back off my holidays yesterday, in school today, first thing I get is "Six pieces of science coursework in for the morning."

I an not a happy bunny.

Currently, me and the rest of my year are scrambling around MSN searching for anyone who's done anything on anything to send them. Our teachers are abominable; they taught us next to nothing. We're having to guess our wat through our GCSE's. NOT A FUN THING TO DO.

I barely even have time to blog. I'm only awake on sugar. Anyway, the holiday.

WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME! America is where the fun's at. Seriously. They're all so... FRIENDLY! And the sun. The sun :-D Oh, it's amazing.

Freaky coincidence: I was at Orlando International Airport on the same day as regular Inside My Head reader and superstar Casey Viers. WEIRD.

I bought a cat in the hat hat.

Well I don't really have much time to talk about much so I'll have to do it tomorrow. See ya.

Oh. Another fun thing. My dad's just been in with a book about my school, it says all science coursework has to be done in class. The school have been being illegal. WONDERFUL.

See ya.

The US of A.

I feel, dear readers, that I have neglected to mention something.

Tomorrow morning, I'm off from jolly ol' Manchester to Florida.

Yep. I've packed up the pigeons, put the brother in the kennel, taken the parents off the leashes, and I'm off. Down to London tomorrow, flights to Atlanta the day after, then to Orlando. Well, I'm a typical tourist. We've got to go to Orlando. I'll be sure to take some pictures of the parents looking at the upside down map for the Eiffel tower, and the like.

So I won't be blogging for two weeks, I'm afraid. Monday the 21st of April is the very earliest I'll manage to blog.

But anyway. This is the FUTURE. I rarely think about that. TODAY.

Today was "Citizenship day" at school. Let me tell you, most useless day of the year. I imagine conversations between teachers went something like this.

"Year 11 are all behind on coursework."
"HOW behind?"
"A few weeks, I'd say."
"Right... We're gonna have to sort this out... Some of them might catch up. Let's throw a citizenship day, to get them a bit further back."

Citizenship day is the day where we come in and get told for seven hours about "citizenship". We had a drugs one (we merely learnt the positive effects of drugs, they didn't really bother cover the negative ones), a sex one (we leant not to have sex, ever, or we'll die) and other ones JUST AS USEFUL. Me and some friends settled by playing computer games for the day.

I stabbed myself in the eye with a pencil. Accidentally, I might add. I was in a taecher's room who'd previously got me excluded for a week. It did not go down well when I shouted a naughty word very loudly across the room. But hey, I thought I had no left eye any more, I think one "Flip!" wasn't completely out of place.

Well, this is where I leave you, I suppose. Assuming I'm not dead, and still have all appendages necesarry to write, I should blog again on the 21st opf April.

See you then.

Fashion Show.

I apologize, as per usual, for missing a post for a day. I was in a kind of "Why bother?" mood. I now very much regret that. It was an uneventful day though, as, I suppose, was today. The highlight of the day was that I punched a door (a fairly feeble one, however) which broke in FOUR places. This was at school.

It had been replaced an hour later.

I didn't really have any reasons for doing it. I vaguely recall someone asking me how hard I can punch. It turns out rather hard.

Oh, there was also a fashion show at my school today. It was a time-walk from the 60's to the 90's.

It honestly was the worst thing I had ever seen. There were year 10's prancing about before every decade section doing a dance that was supposedly from that time, but they all looked the same. The year eights painted themselves orange with fake tan and waddled up the "catwalk" (some white tape on the floor) and pouted at the end. They usually had given up about halfway down because everyone was looking at them blankly, not applauding at all. One of my mates (let's call him "Dootson") dressed up like one of them "well cool" people out of the band "Kiss" and danced around with a guitar. I was sat right next to the judges table so I was limited in the amountof abuse I could throw at them, but the judges did all seem just as disgusted I was. The only thing I could take solice in was the fact that after the show I found some kiddies on their own and could point at them with some mates, and all agree that that individual was worst. S'all good on the morale.

And that was that. I'm off now, though. Toodles.

April Fools.

Oh, April fool's day. The day that, for half a day, we get to pull pranks on people. There's a problem with it, though.

Let's say, for giggles, we cover a teacher in a metric ton of sludge. Funny, right? Well, it doesn't matter what day it is, that teacher still punished me... I mean, WOULD punish me. If I did it. Not that I did... Right?

Also, they say if it's after 12.00, then "The joke's on you."

Not really. I mean, whoever it was still got a prank played on them. the joke's still on them. That's just something people say to make themselves feel better.

WELL! Have you ever noticed just how WILD and ECXTATIC school is?

If so, please, PLEASE tell me some good bits about it.

I see it is a place where teenagers congregate in order to not learn, have abuse screamed at them about how thick they are, have to put up with the half-baked (or completely raw, in some cases) teaching of certain individuals and have an hour a day of free time, still caged in the heck-hole before finally being allowed to stumble home, all for a bit of paper that says "GCSE" on it.

Oh, it's not ALL bad. some year 8's decided they might like to own the school so decided to attack us. As is year 11's duty in such a situation, me and some mates grabbed five or so of them, threw them in a corner and didn't let them out. They looked rather indignified when they realised they'd lost their lunchtime.

We heard some funny stuff. Quotes:

"Don't you KNOW who I am??!!?"
"*Takes out sandwich* Right, I;m gonna throw it! I mean it! *year 11's advance* I'm loaded! I mean it! *Year 8 is promptly crushed to dust, sandwich and all.*"

"*Escapes* YES!!!!!! *Is dragged backwards by me* NO!!!!!!"

"I'll bang y's all!"

Oh, you gotta love those kids. They're pretty quick at that age though; weak though. It'll, I think, be easier to get them once they've started puberty and lost the will to run, or live.

By the way, I've been ignoring the fact that I've been going to force you to... I mean, let you see pictures of the baby pigeons for several days now. Finally could be bothered to take pictures, here they are.

Beasts, right?

Family photo. Bless

Ugly as ever, like.

Well, I'm off! See ya.

Learning languages...

Hey, readers. First and formost, I'll apologise for not posting yesterday. See, I was actually in the middle of posting (Although to be fair it was after midnight, so still today really) when my dad went "Oh mint, let's unplug this internet cable!" and did exactly that. Hence, no postage from me. It probably works in your favour, however, yesterday's post was sheer drivel, nothing interesting whatsoever.

So. To today's post.

I've decided I'm going to learn Italian. I already know enough spanish to get by, and am taking that at college (or high school for you Americans... Always one step behind. Tch. Kidding :-D), as well as Arabic, which should be fun for giggles, and now have decided to give Italian a go. It's apparently really similar to Spanish, and Italy is a great place, so any sensible person would learn the language. It'll perhaps help with my neverending quest to learn all the languages. Apparently there are 6500 spoken languages in the world, not including the fake ones like Klingon (that's the language off that sucky programme Star Trek). Oh, also you can apparently get a degree in Klingon.

I bet that's got some people pretty darn far with their lives.

Well, I didn't do much today. Had to write that spanish coursework, which I did well, reckon there'll be some A* work going on there. Well, I did get a spanish person to help me with it, lots, so it's only to be supposed.

Something odd happened today. I found some Dido music on my computer, when no one in my family have any CD's by her, so that was puzzling. I hadn't downloaded any either. Aah well. Perhaps it's a free gift from Microsoft, maybe to make up for Vista.

I decided I like Dido.

Lacking content, apologies all.

Yawns all round. Boring day all in all today, finally crawled out of my hole in the ground... I mean bed, at around 1. pm, due to incredible thirst. Did very little after that, other than save Hyrule from the dreaded Ganondorf on the Gamecube. Did a bit of coursework de Espanol, and emailed my spanish tutor to get her to help me with it. Very helpful. She's a very nice person too.

I promised you a picture of the feathered pigeon babies today, it seems I was too lazy to get my camera and take a picture, so you'll be waiting another day I'm afraid.

Also watched "The apprentice." What a NICE SHOW. That cool bearded man making business peoples sell fish at stalls at markets and firing them. Cool guy.

Well this has been a boring post. Sorry. I actually truly am. I'm sure you're all feeling terrible that you don't get to see just how fantastic my life usually is. I'll try to find something interesting to talk about tomorrow.

OCR...

Hey, readers. It's been an average day today, as per usual; very poor teaching where science is concerned, mediocre lies made up where RE is concerned (Along with my RE teacher refusing to play a game of mercy with me, the coward) and lots of fun where drama is concerned. Just about the funnest thing that happened was a funzo surprise mock exam in english, where I got to experience the joys of writing about the town of Maycomb in To Kill A Mockingbird. For those of you that haven't read the book, I've compiled a collection of quotes just for you, that may as well have been the title.

"In a pig's ear you did, Dill. Hush."
"Scout yonder's been reading since she was born."
"Looka yonder."
"You go gargle - right now! You hear me?"
"Coloured folk don't show their ages as fast."
"That's m'name, cap'n."
"He's drinkin' out of a sack."

And last, but certainly not least...

"But Jem, I ain't never heard of a nigger snowman."

All super-fun quotes that you too can experience if you let your eyes revel in Mockingbird.

You can also watch the film to see Scout wriggling around on the floor dressed as a large ham, if you so choose.

Good gosh I hate that book.

For all my foreign/differently educated readers, mock exams are usually something you're aforewarned about. By a lot of time. Like, months. We found out five minutes before. It's like, a real exam, for our real qualifications. Except, not.

Oh. We also found out that the future of our school depends on our GCSE (Sshool-leaving qualifications) today, because if they aren't good, then the school's gonna be demolished and mixed with another school at some later point.

I bet the teachers are REAAAAAAAAALLY regretting doing such a shoddy job of teaching now.

Oh, but it's not ALL the teacher's fault.

IT'S OCR'S AS WELL.

Again, for readers that don't know, OCR is, it's a course that we do for science and ICT (but we could also do for english and other subjects), where this particular company sets the coursework to be done, along with the exams. They've gone and set us like twenty bits of coursework for science alone that the school have failed to tell us, until now, that they exist. The tests are abominable, more logic than science (which is a plus) but the coursework is like... Leprosy on paper. We had to like, spend hours copying and pasting stuff onto about thirty pages, then write it in our own words. For one bit, we had two hours of teaching time to had in a full bit, that a decent teacher might spend weeks on. We didn't even know half out stuff was meant to be coursework. Aah well, you don't want to hear about this stuff.

The baby pigeons now have proper feathers *thumbs up* photos tomorrow.

Relief?

Today wasn't as COMPLETELY terrifying as I expected. Well, I went into the classroom with a wall of friends around me, to hopefully not let the teacher see me, and then moved places, from right next to her desk to the other side of the room. So far so good.

Then came the register. The dreaded, dreaded register. So, she read down to my name, waiting for the "Yes"'s, and, for some strange reason, reached my name, and said "Jopkins? Oh yes, he's here..." rather quietly.

Of course not that I'm complaining.

It seems that, that lesson, she decided to completely ignore me, as did I. BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME! Sheer relief, like. I was expecting, like, a lynch mob or something, but got nothing of the sort.

But yeah, nothing new apart from that. Oh, that lesson we were on computers doing science coursework, and me and a friend, we'll call him "Billy" for conversation's sake, found the most amazingly incredible game ever called Massive Attack, it was very much like drugs. But that's about it.

Toodles.

And by the way, despite the fact that I say "Toodles", I am in fact heterosexual.

Bye.

Sheer terror...

Well, I was back to school today, after a week break over easter. Usual school rubbish; coursework being thrown at us from all angles, lukewarm teaching and standing around in the cold eating sandwiches. MUCH FUN.

Had to have a meeting with my spanish teacher today, because I called her something naughty a few weeks ago and got excluded for a week because of it. Tut tut to me, and like. But yeah, I had to explain stuff, and make sure I did everything short of apologizing. I'm arrogant, see. I don't like apologizing.

POINT IS! At the moment, I'm currently terrified out of my mind about tomorrow. Perhaps I should explain.

Well. Months ago, my science teacher, Miss Wells, thought it'd be jolly ol' fun to steal my pen drive. I was not a happy bunny. Well, I found her email address (Laura.Wells@salford.gov.uk, in case you were wondering... and PLEASE, BY ALL MEANS, have some fun with it. Really, I implore you.) and thought to myself "Oh hello, here's an opportunity for mischief," and mischief it was.

Before I tell you the rest, I feel it important to explain to you that I am not in fact insane; I just like to appear that way occasionally.

Very well.

First of all, I emailed her anonymously, saying "You've made a mistake. You'd better undo it. A lot of people are angry." (Like I said, NOT actually insane. Just wanted her to think she was being stalked or something.) Then, she replied saying "Who is this?" and I emailed her again saying "I know who you are." She then didn't reply again, so I sent her one more saying "Very mature of you, ignoring me. Unfortunately, the problem's still here."

A lot of time then passed, and I'd all but forgotten it, until one of my friends saw her in the Trafford Centre (a nearby shopping centre) with another teacher, Sian Heafield. I thought it was too precious to miss, so, as I am me, I thought it'd be a good idea emailing her again saying "So, how was the Trafford Centre with Sian?" you know, purely for "stalker" effect.

Well. Before I go on, I feel it is important I tell you I have something of a reputation with the teachers at my school. See, I am what they call a "complete bastard," or something along those lines. Well, I'm actually very controversial. People, teachers and students alike, like me a lot or despise my guts. Miss Wells, along with Miss Heafield and, unfortunately, most of the senior staff at my school, are on the "despise" side. Lucky me.

THE POINT IS! Well, one lesson a week or so ago, Miss Wells mentioned this email incident in her class. I wasn't in for this lesson, but as soon as she said it, one of my friends, who knew about it, said something along the lines of "Oh, (bad word), that's not good." A little too audibly for my liking, too. Ahh well.

So. Miss Wells came over to this girl and said if she knew anything, she'd better say it or it was agains the law and other legal... rubbish she made up in the spot. The teacher then told some other senior staff that this particular friend (we'll call her "Katie", just for arguments sake), that she'd said I did it, even though she didn't. See, Miss Wells had already decided (correctly, as it happens), that it was me. So, fun and yet MORE fun for me, I got found out.

I then did not help myself out one little bit by skipping a meeting I was supposed to go to with her.

And I'm supposed to have a lesson with her tomorrow.

And good gosh I am terrified. What with, you know, being threatened with permenant exclusion. Ahh dear.

Despite what the above SOUNDS like, I'm actually not that bad a person. I just like to peeve people, a tad.

Now, I may go and hide under a pile of coats for a bit...

More yawns...

I've had a day about as equally interesting and exciting as yesterday, friends.

Oh, it's been slightly more interesting. bought a couple of pairs of jeans, seeing as two out of three pairs I own are far too small, and the other pair are too big. And I've had them on for like, two weeks.

Oh, exaggeration.

Saw a woman talking to herself on the bus on the way back. Life must be interesting, if you defaultly talk to youself. Constant company, I reckon. You'd never get lonely.

Do you actually talk to your own mind, and answer for yourself? Or is there like, another voice in there that answers back? Hrm. Get back to me if you know, please.

So that was that. Oh, also did a bit of planning for some youth work I help out with. lucky me, come next Sunday I get to entertain and amuse 5-9 year olds at my church with puppets. A puppet called Timmy, to be precise. A ventriloquist's dummy.

Oh, isn't my life fun?

Also, I horrified a couple of youth workers with the state of the baby pigeons. They like, have spikes erupting from them. they'll become feathers one day (I hope), but they look like they've got white needles poking out of them everywhere. I'll add a pic tomorrow.

So now, here I am, sat here, bored as ever, with no new episodes of Lost to watch, and my brother's one the Gamecube.

Oh... No he's not... Goodbye, then...

Yawns...

For the last four days, I've always had something to say, whether it be about preservatives, easter or pigeons.

That is not the case with today.

I have done nothing all day. Like, out of bed at half one this afternoon. Wandered around the house a bit, looking confused, then lunch. Melted cheese butty, in case you were wondering.

...You weren't, were you?

Well, it matters not. It was just about the highlight of my day.

For the rest of the day, I unscrambled my brain on the Gamecube (Tales of Symphonia and Zelda, Ocarina of time... Something else you weren't wondering about...)

So yeah. And here I am now, waiting for Lost to download itself (legally, mind) onto my computer. It likes to take its time.

Oh, this is hopeless. I've got to think of something I've got an opinion on...

COMMUNISM!

Right, my theory is this. I know like communism is meant to be bad and all (yaa, boo, hiss... etc) but only because all the leaders are corrupt. If I was boss of the world, I'd work the country so that business owners kept all the money they made (only so that they didn't just think "Aah, sack it, I'm only making the same as that dude over there") but make them pay more taxes. Then, all the workers, and non-business owners money would go into a big pot, the taxes taken out, which wouldn't have to be as high, as business owners would pay more, and then there'd be no poor people. Businesses still make lots of money, regular people's taxes are generally lower, but business' taxes are higher, so more money can be spent on helping people with hospitals, etc, everybody wins. AND, because people might think "Now why would I bother a hard-working guy when I can earn just as much shovelling potato wedges (that is, artfuly crafting food)?", the businesses can offer perks (company car, free dental, etc) to make people want to get better jobs.

Yeah.

What can I say, I had a boring day...

Easter day.

So, it's the time of year again that we gorge ourselves on chocolate and sugar, pigging out as best we can, forgetting what easter's really about.

Wait, what is it about?

Oh yeah, the bloke in white that was whipped until his spine was visible out his back and then was nailed to a tree and left to bleed to death.

I propose a minute of silence for that dude. Homie love out there, Jesus.

Right. We're done with that.

I took a look at some of the ingredients for a tube of mini eggs. Ever done that? The list takes up half the packaging. Crammed full of colouring, flavouring, scentening and preservatives. Oh, and a bit of actually edible stuff too, I believe.

Speaking of preservatives, I have a theory regarding them. People cram food full of them, to preserve it and make a loaf of bread last for three years, and then some. Well, I say, if it can do that to a loaf of bread, then surely we should stuff ourselves full of them, and preserve ourselves. It must preserve us, if it does it to food. For example, I know a twenty-three year old woman that eats so much chewing gum, none of this "Wrigleys no preservatives" junk, the proper stuff, all chemicals and preservatives, and you'd never guess she was over twelve.

See? Preservatives at work.

So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna eat so much preservatives that by the time I die, in three hundred years time nonetheless, I'l be practically laminated.

That'll give Time Team 4000 AD something interesting to dig up.

Sleepage...

Well. I'm back again, my third consecutive day on the blog.

You know what's a STRANGE thing? Easter. It's supposed to be however many years after Jesus died. But it's on a Sunday. Constantly. So it can't be.

Also, eggs. I've heard it's to symbolise new life at Spring, but that's nothing to do with the easter story. New life at the ressurection? Oh wait no, we eat the eggs, so there's no new chicken life there. Unlucky for them. I've also been told that they're the stone at Jesus's tomb that was rolled away. Strange. I thought that the Romans were smarter than to use eggs to barricade a cave. 'Specially chocolate ones.

ANYWAY!

I had a fun day today. Feathers McGraw and Zazu took their first steps, bless, don't they grow up so fast, etc, etc. That reminds me. here's a good pic.

Mother and daughter. Bless. And yeah, that hulking beast there is the tiny mini-egg sized thing you saw on my hand three days ago.

So, second and final day of performing "The Rock" today. Pretty darned good. Lots of applause, fanfare, chocolate, backpatting and aftershow parties all round. Rather tired now, but it was all good and fun. AND I discovered that there IS a limit to the amount of J2O's you can drink without wanting to die. But hey, apple and blackcurrent. What can I say.

Well, I think I'm gonna say toodles now. It's twenty-five to midnight. So ta-ta. Have fun.

Sugar rush

Yawn. Tired.

Been out today from 10 AM, till now, practicing and performing a play called "The Rock". It's not about gravel. It's a modernised confusing story my church made. I got through the day with a series of sugar rushes on Pepsi, Mars bars, Yorkies, lollies, crisps, chips, sandwiches, various chocolate bars and... Yeah. It's been a nutritional day for me today.

Sugar low now :-(

I did well anyway. At the last count I had four lines or so, give or take, which I delivered medicorely. What bad spelling. But yeah, it was a full house, about 220 people turned up, lots of applause (recorded, I presume, or merely out of politeness) and the band there (there was a band) played well.

So yeah, other than that, I had the very important duty of closing a door after someone ran through it, opening another door so a guy could carry a box through it, and lowering the general sound of the chorus with my musically dead voice. I settled for screaming at the audience.

So that was my day.

Feathers McGraw started growing feathers, by the way. Living right up to his name there.

I also called the other pigeon Zazu. Although I reckon it's a female. And not a parrot, or whatever the hell Zazu is. Hrm. What's the name of the chicken that knits a lot in "Chicken Run"?

Wait, I'm jabbering.
Oh. That's what a blog's for.

Hang on. i'm too tired for this...

See ya.

Wow! I'm blogging!

So. I made a blog. If you're here, I'm sure it's just because you're someone equally as uninteresting as me and I've told you to. That, or because I'm such an INCREDIBLY fascinating, incredible person that word of this blog has spread sharpishly, and you're rifling about through the archives to read all the fun stuff I have to say.

Well. Today I think I'm gonna just tell you about me.

Name: Jopkins

Age: Not old enough to drink OR drive yet, definitly not old enough to do both together.

Hobbies: Hrm. Tricky one. I like games, console or PC. Ones I'd advise are Crysis, for PC, or any of the Zelda series, for any nintendo console. I also like badminton, but I haven't played that in a while, because I had a private coach, but he got run over, so that was the end of that. Worry not, though; he's okay. He's just not playing badminton any more. I also enjoy all things pigeon related (I have four pet pigeons; two white ones a year or so old, two four day old babies, ugliest things you've ever seen.) Here's a couple of slightly blurry pictures of them.

Two pigeon babies at one day old, closest one is called Feathers McGraw, not decided on a name for the other yet.

Two adult pigeons a couple of months ago. The one on the left is called Dad, the other called Mum. Some good, creative names there.

Dad, posing for the camera.

Aah. Cute, right? Other interests of mine include writing (Currently writing a trilogy, look out for it when it becomes an intergalactic bestseller) and SOCIALIZING! I know commonly it's thought that people who write (or read, for that matter) blogs are the kind of people with nobody to socialise WITH, but somehow I''ve managed to stumble across a couple of mates.

Lives in: Manchester, in England. Good, fun place to live. Rainy. Constantly. Very little to do. Pointless place to live. Yep. All good fun.

Not sure what else to write about myself, but I'm busy waiting for them pictures to upload, so I'll find a few things to say.

I'm gonna try to write a post every day, but heck, my life's so darn busy, what with all the constant social visits and walks to the TV an et cetera. Oh. More stuff to write:

Likes: Lost, Scrubs, any depressing suicidal music, such as anything My Chemical Romance, or even The Fray and stuff.

I like more stuff than that, but I'm not sure what.

Oh. Food. I like that a bit too.

Well, I've been pestering you for a while now, so I'm gonna leave now. If you can (I'm not sure, all this newfangled technology confuses me) please leave a comment.

Toodles.